Ninja Butterfly – by Lightning Mozaik

The Butterfly effect

“Now I feel like ninja butterflies are throwing ninja stars at my stomach.” I clutch my abdomen in protest.
Todd rolls his eyes, “Seriously, listen to yourself. I’m only suggesting you go talk to her, instead of sitting here drooling.”
I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand, “You don’t get it. I’m not smooth like you. I don’t know what to say to girls.”
“You’re really overthinking this. Just go up and say hi, ask her name, what’s her favourite restaurant, maybe she’d like to meet you there on Saturday night…”
I take a bite of my burger, “I can’t on Saturday, it’s tabletop miniature night at the library.”
“You’re killing me here dude. Don’t mention that. She’s going to picture you in a room full of sad virgins with measuring tapes and twenty sided dice. There’s no coming back from that. Your job is to say as little as possible. Mysterious might be your only viable option here.”
“You want me to go and talk to her, but say as little as possible?”
“Bingo! Off you go stud, knock her dead.” Todd nudges me towards her with all the subtlety of a rampaging hippo.

Pretty girl and I make eye contact and I wait for the words to flow. I open my mouth, but only drool comes out. The silence is deafening.

I strain to force the words stuck in my throat, “What’s your favourite name?”
It’s hard to say which of us is more confused. She says, “I’m sorry, what?”
“Saturday. I’m going to eat on Saturday. I’m not going to the library.”
Her confusion changes to concern, “Did you hit your head? Can I call someone?”
She gets out her phone and I see Todd giving me the thumbs up.

Kill me now.